The Last Garage Sale

The condo community where I live holds an annual garage sale every September. Last year, I participated and I made about $180. It was sort of fun and my mom did it with me, so we decided to do it again this year. My friend who lives across town also brought some of her stuff over because I told her about last year's "success" and she's trying to get rid of a lot of her mom's collectibles.

A few months ago, my ex-boss's wife gave me one of these for my dog:



I don't typically dress my dog, but it was thoughtful of her to think of my puppy. (But really, how could she not think of the most perfect puppy in the world?) Unfortunately, he was about three sizes too big for it, so I still had it unopened in the box and I put it out for the sale with a $2 price tag.

At about 7:45 a.m., as we were still setting up stuff outside, a tall, muscular 35-ish looking guy starts snooping around and thoroughly examines the box and its contents. He's outside and I'm in the garage, so he holds it up and yells to me, "Would you take $1 for this?" I say, "Um...sure." He hands me my $1 and it's the first sale of the day. Okey-dokey, we're on a roll! My mom thinks it's SO adorable that this big virile guy is buying a Snuggie for his own little puppy. AW, how sweet!

About three hours later, we haven't sold nearly as much as we had sold last year and the stream of people is only moderate, so my friend and I get a little bored and decide to take a stroll around the court to peruse the other sales.

Lo and behold, what do I see but MY SNUGGIE in this dude's garage sale about 10 doors up with my original $2 price tag on it. This moron is my NEIGHBOR who has a PIT BULL. He bought it to RESELL it at his own sale.

Oh but, yes, my friends, there were plenty more insufferable cheap dicks to come a-knockin'.

How much did I end up making for the day, you ask? TWENTY-THREE FUCKING DOLLARS.

~M1L