And I'm gonna be 40...in 10 days!!!

Things are so hectic and weird and jumbled in my brain right now that none of this will probably even make any sense, but I see I have not written anything since November 14 and that is just way too long to not blog (i.e. send my strangerfriend Native Minnow a lengthy personal message that he, and he alone reads).

I really like the person who has been hired to replace me. First, my boss hired a woman who came in to train with me for one day then kept telling us that she couldn't come in again because her furnace had broken (she miraculously drew this excuse out for FIVE days until my boss finally told her to forget it.) He then hired a GUY which is a huge deal because my boss typically only hires women (explanation and analysis available upon request, but who really cares now, I'm outta there!). So, now there will be 14 women and 2 men with some much-needed counteractive testosterone in the office. So I've been training this very nice man since last Friday. He is married with two dogs, five years older than I and, as it turns out, also went to the same high school I did. He is very eager and truly grateful to have landed this job which makes me very happy because that is how it should be. I have been feeling hateful and resentful of it for way too long now, so I am delighted that it will be going to someone who is both competent and appreciative.

Unfortunately, the pie business research has been on hold while I wrap things up. Truly, I am just burned out and need a break to declutter both my house and my mind, both of which I have sorely neglected as of late. I have applied for a few jobs, but have heard nothing. Normally that would make me quite nervous, but I have an odd calm about this whole thing. I am just so looking forward to some down time to collect my thoughts. I feel like it will fall into place, though I don't really have any good logical reasons that should lead me to believe this. I just do.

I just started my Christmas shopping yesterday. I was going to forego putting up the tree entirely, but my grandfather inadvertently made me feel too guilty about that during the Steeler game on Sunday, so I put it up immediately after I went home. Even though I didn't want to do it, I realized that he deserves a decorative, festive environment in which to relax and feast. This will be the first Christmas without my grandma and you never know if it will be the last for him or any of us. We're having dinner at my place, so I did the freakin' tree.



I must say, the photo doesn't really do it justice. It's prettier than this in person. Yes, you're right, I have ugly, dated vertical blinds.

My friend is going through a divorce. It's been difficult for me to witness him experiencing so much turmoil and pain. It's also hard to know the right things to say, but he seems to be doing better now, so that has been a relief to me. It's so much easier to see things rationally from the outside in. He's seeing someone now who I consider unworthy of his affection. As a friend listening to the situation, you find yourself wanting to protect them and point out the obvious negatives about the person with whom they are having a bad relationship and scream, "For God's sake, run!" but obviously, you can't do that. I tried to listen and give good, objective advice without sounding too critical or forceful. Not an easy task for me because I'm so opinionated and fiercely protective of my friends. But he said I did a good job and he seems to be doing much better with staying the course, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. One thing I do know is that I wouldn't wish divorce on my worst enemy. It's been interesting and enlightening for me to hear things from a male perspective, however. This friend and I went to school together, but didn't really become close until the last two years or so. So many people my age are going through such heavy experiences. I've had my own this year, as well. This middle age thing sort of blows big time in many ways. But overall, I think it's been more liberating and good than not.

So, in summary - 10 days 'til 40, and 10 days 'til freedom. Let the countdown begin... :) ~M1L